Two completely endless dreams in one night. As if I was asleep for a decade of time. That is, if you consider time to be existant - but I won't get into that.

The first dream starts off on a rather awkward note. I as at the counter of A&W at our local mall, the only difference was that there were crowds of people behind me and we were all watching this one guy make a speech while standing on top of the counter. I had no interest in whatever words he was shouting out so I turned my head around and noticed Tyler walking with Amanda quietly by his side. We shot each other the patented Arthur Fonzorelli and then I somehow leaped over to them. They had agreed to give me a ride home. Tyler had a car, but this was the most unordinary fucked up car in existance. For one it was a model car with the front and rear bumper of the body-kit missing. It then flashed to my kitchen counter where both pieces were comfortably sitting apon. This is where I leaped into third person and watched myself appear in the car. The interior was almost like a huge square couch running along the insides in which I sat in the very corner. We had gotten into an accident in where I was in a wheelchair but could still walk, despite the fact that it hurt immensely to. It then switched to school where I was by the stairs waiting for the bus. Alot of people whom I knew were in there and this one chick kept rubbing my leg from which I had sprung boner and told her to stop because I didn't want a boner in public. My bus had never came and the entire situation was neurotic and at points the world was spinning around in a constant chaotic blur.

The second dream isn't as vivid as it was this morning after awaking. It had started off on a suburban street where I was with my grandma for some reason. She had told me to drive my aunts car, for no apparent reason. I climbed in, gassed it up and was zooming through suburbia. Things suddenly became so incredibly confusing. People were yelling at me, it was entirely blurry. I kept turning knobs by the steering wheel and the stick shift to try and stop the car when suddenly it went into slow motion and I was not controlling the car and ran over a little blonde girl. I had ran back down the street where some kid had been knocked over in the snow. A cop pulled up and I was struck with fear. My Grandma was in the car and they both said "Why the fuck didn't you bring the car to your aunts?". I was completely confused walking around the neighbourhood and woke up with the most dazed feeling.

Valentines Day has to be one of the most diluted 'holidays' ever concieved.

Although I have found my Valentine;

In other news today is a Snow Day - which rules of course. Although there is not much to do I'm keeping myself busy on here.

I've been reading quite a bit of Varg Vikernes's articles on his website about Norse Pantheism and relations to J.R.R. Tolkien's 20th century classic, The Lord of the Rings. Before I go on let me state that Tolkien's works are quite possibly the most passionate and amazing part of my life - aswell as Norse Mythology and Asatru.

Vargs thesis was Tolkien's relations been Odin and Sauron - Barad-dur and Hlidskjalf - Viking Berserkers and Uruk-Hai(High-Orcs). This I agreed with solely on the fact that Tolkien took such a beautiful mythology and language out to represent darkness and evil - which is to no suprise because he was of course a devoted Catholic man.

While reading these a part of me had some agreement to what he was saying - Alas he mentioned his disliking of "saints" like Aragorn. I personally find characters like Aragorn to have a sense of valour and honor much like the Scandinavian people and that's where he kind of ticks me off, for lack of a better term.

Although there is one article where he finally makes true sense in my mind - 'A Bard's Tale: Part II - Green Havens'. The opening paragraph is as follows:

'Tolkien's fantastic Middle-Earth is inhabited by all sorts of creatures known from the mythology, but in a sense our real world is no different. We live in a world filled with hateful, cruel and self-loathing orcs and greedy dwarves, all dedicated to the destruction of our green and fertile world. They look like humans all of them, but they have the minds of dark elves; crippled and twisted minds. We live amongst men and hobbits too, though; innocent but weak and miserable creatures, desperately trying to do what is right. Luckily some of them succeed too: here and there we can spot an elf walking amongst us, a person who's mind will - when he or she dies - survive the purifying flames of Hel and return undiminished to our world.'

There is an uttermost beauty in those words and that is why I believe they will be immortal. Tolkien had such a way of projecting this message, imagery - whatever you will. It is by far the best representation of this world and it's constrictive malevolent ways. He goes on by stating 'Like in the magic realm of Tolkien, our elves don't thrive and blossom amongst common men, and just like the dark elves shun them, they shun the dark elves, and their scary, unwelcoming and barren cities too. Like all creatures they seek the company of others who are like themselves. "Birds of a feather flock together".' - This can be shaped into whomever although he is talking about people with individual minds. My words are rather short and undeveloped simply because I cannot say it better than he for it would be those exact words out of my mouth(hands).

There really is no true meaning for writing this here and now. But with the vice of 'Valentine's Day' above our heads it means more than free chocolate or a pathetic excuse to celebrate commercial love - it relates to this very topic. It shows the greed and pathetic suffice of man.

Modus Vivendi
(A way of life)

Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.

The multiversal concept of Yggdrasil, the World Tree, has been touched on many times elsewhere. The material presented here is a drawing together of these threads, weaving them into a composite picture.

The "World Tree" is a mythological diagram, a means of raising into consciousness an awareness of the multiversal aspect of reality. It depicts the "worlds" as existing in separate territories, yet being at the same time part of a greater whole. There is a drawback in this representation, however, for we who have been educated in the schools of materialism, in the environment of the "great city". To us such a diagram conveys little real information. We see the "territories" of Asgard, Midgard and Niflheim as being connected but separate. The natural images of trees, rivers, birds and animals have little relevance to our city lives.

For the Asatruar it is essential to realise that these "other worlds" of the multiverse are not separate "territories", as it were, although so represented in the old diagram, but different planes of being, actually co-existing with the "world" of Midgard which is immediately apparent to our physical senses.

As our consciousness expands we begin to become aware of this greater reality which is all around us. We begin to "see" and "hear" sights and sounds which are not apparent to people whose senses are still asleep. Strange events occur, strange relationships between ourselves and what appear to be "unnatural" happenings in the " natural" worlds. We begin to travel to other realms of being in dreams and trance states and to receive and accept the wisdom hidden in them. We begin to "climb" Yggdrasil, to ride the shaman's horse, to travel between the worlds - a journey that is a shifting of consciousness, yet in a true sense a real journey to real places.

For us today there is a necessity to depict the multiverse in a way that is more accessible to twentieth century thought. We can envisage the multiverse of Yggdrasil as three interpenetrating spheres occupying the same space, yet each possessing a "basic" atomic structure that vibrates at a different rate from the others. Our physical bodies vibrate at the "material" frequency, along with the rest of Midgard, yet we have the power to alter our spiritual, "astral" bodies so that through them we can perceieve and move in other worlds.

The boundaries of the other worlds of the multiverse are not hard and sharp divisions, like that between water and dry land. Rather they are gradual and nebulous, each world imperceptibly impinging on the others, an impingement that fluctuates and changes with the cycles of existence. So, in those years before the present Dark Age the most closely adjacent worlds to ours, Alfheim (Faery) and the "upper reaches" of Hel, were quite accessible to ordinary mortals. We have the ancient shamanic traditions which speak of long ago times when all could travel between the worlds, and much of the folklore of all races is taken up by stories of such journeys.

Parts of these other worlds are so close to Midgard that it is possible by other-world magic, generated by other-world beings, to alter the vibrations of our physical bodies so that we can travel to them in the flesh. Stories of such occurences are well "documented", not only in the old folklore of the fairy tale, but in their modern versions - "flying saucer abductions", for instance. Each generation clothes its fairy tales with its own cultural trappings, yet they are expressions of the same underlying truth.

Well this starts off my very first 'rant' if you will. If you've read thus far you may turn back. It could be long.

Ultimately your average person would say this - "People change", or do they? Some will say people never change. Under all the facades and psuedo-pride you've consumed over the years you are still the same personality and you still interact with the same level of, let's say deliverance.

Why am I saying this you ask? Simply because I ponder this over a (seemingly) good friend of mine. To those who aren't involved with Metal music you may not understand. Metal is not just some obscure genre your grandmothers and preachers forbid to reaching your ears - it's a brothership. Comradory and understand on a worldwide scale. This friend of mine I guess is partaking in the cliche 'growing up' of most Metallers. It's kind of sad in a way. He's really the only other true fan in the area. He's into almost every drug imaginable right now - weed, beans, acid, shrooms. Thankfully not heroin, cocaine or crack. I don't know, this is quite thoughtless right now. It's just the unfortunate passing of what I thought was brotherhood, tightly knit friendship.

Well... LiveJournal certainly isn't Rocket Science (it's much harder). This is my absolute first entry. I've never 'blogged' before and a few years ago I would have deemed it archaic. But this is a good place to organize my thoughts and ramble apon pages and pages. I'd say this is a good letout.

There shall be more to come but for now I must get back to other things